Chicago Parody
by GirlInTheMirror121
Summary: Chicago parody! NICE flames are totally allowed. COMPLETE!
1. Act 1

**A/N: You read my POTO parody, right? Well, here's the parody for Chicago! **

**World: Musical/Movie**

**Disclaimer: if anyone on this site actually OWNED any of the topics, do you THINK they'd call it FANFICTION?!**

Act 1

Velma: All that jazz! Whoot, sing it with me! Theme music yeah!

Police: Wait a minute; you killed your husband and your sister!

Velma: Shit, they found out. Ah well, I'll be more famous now.

Roxie: Fred, I love you.

Fred: You have a husband but damn, you're hot!

Roxie: Amos WHO?

_1 month later_

Roxie: You CHEATED on me?! SON OF A BITCH! _shoots Fred_

Roxie: crappp!

Amos: I'll cover for you, honey.

Roxie: Thanks, darling. Now, just tell them that YOU killed him while I sit and sing a song.

Amos: Fine, I killed him, officers. Roxie is an angel! She wouldn't do that!

Roxie: _Thank god that man has a brain…_

Amos: Wait a minute…Fred Casely? He sold us our furniture!

Roxie: SHUT UP!!

Police: Wait, who killed him here?

Roxie: I killed him, and I'd kill him again if I could!

Police: Once was enough, dearie.

Roxie: I DON'T WANNA GO TO JAIL! NO!!

Officer: Put her in Block 6.

Mama: We call it Murderess Row.

Roxie: Is that supposed to be nicer?

Mama: haha…

Velma: Lookie, Mama, an article about me!

Roxie: OMG THE Velma Kelly!

Velma: Yeah whatever.

Mama: Here you go.

Roxie: What's that…music?

Bandleader: And now, the six merry murderesses of the Cook County Jail in their rendition of…the Cell Block Tango! 

Liz: I killed my husband cuz he wouldn't stop POPPIN' his gum! 

Annie: My boyfriend had SIX wives!

June: My husband ran into my knife 10 times! SQUISH!

Hunyak: _speaks Hungarian _Not guilty!

Velma: My sister and husband were doing NUMBER 17: THE SPREAD EAGLE!

Mona: He saw himself as alive…and I saw him dead! LIPSCHITZ!

All: He had it coming!

Bandleader: Presenting, Mama Morton!

Mama: OK, so if you're good to me, I'm good to you. Got it?

Roxie: Velma, any advice to me? I'M YOUR #1 FAN!

Velma: Keep your paws OFF MY UNDERWEAR!!

Roxie: How do I get OUT of here? 

Mama: You need Billy Flynn to back your trial.

Roxie: Billy Flynn?

Mama: And give me $100 for a phone call…

Roxie: Deal!

Billy: All I care about is…LOVE!

Roxie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, get me a trial date already!

Billy: Sheesh, okay! Let's make you…what's the word I'm looking for? Nice. Not guilty. Appealing in the courtroom.

Mary Sunshine: Maybe there IS a little bit of good in everyone…or maybe NOT! 

Billy: OK, dummy. Mouth the words that I say. Can you do that? _Baby talk_

Reporters: Oh Roxie?

Roxie: Shh! I'm a dummy!

Billy: And they both reached for the gun…

Roxie: BUT I GOT IT FIRST!

Billy: Your part is silent, little toad!

Audience: POTO? Uhm, GirlInTheMirror121, did you copy/paste from your POTO parody by accident?

Roxie: I'm famous! YAY! They gonna recognize my eyes, my hair, my teeth, my boobs, my nose…

Me, Sam, and Aly: _watching the movie at Aly's house _WHAT BOOBS?!

Velma: Ugh, that bitch stole my trial, my freedom, my lawyer…

Roxie: Uhm yeah sorry, tough luck.

Velma: I can't do it alone, Roxie. Help!

Roxie: Hahaha that's so funny! No. And advice? Lay off the caramels.

Roxie and Velma: I'm my own best friend…

Roxie: Hmm…maybe if I SAY I'm pregnant, I can get out of here!

Kitty: GO TO HELL!

Roxie: _pretends to fall _Oh, I hope the fall didn't hurt the baby…

Mama, reporters, and Billy: BABY?

Velma: SHIT! **(A/N: I love the look on her face at this part!)**

And now we have a cliffhanger ending before act 2!

**I know, not as good as POTO, but my best. I'll put up Act 2 on Friday. Tomorrow is Halloween, and that way I can get some reviews from my fans!**

**Hope you guys liked this one!**


	2. Act 2

**A/N: I guess no one likes this story? Oh well, I'm going to finish it anyway, because my stupid perfectionist self is telling me too, and I won't rest until all of my stories are "complete". So, here is Act 2.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Chicago, but I'm seeing it in NYC December 1!  
**

**P.S. My POTO Parody is better, by the way. I'm writing this under major worries concerning a very close friend of mine. I'm really scared for him and…it's distracting me from writing my best. I'm sorry.**

Act 2

Velma: I know a girl who's well…kinda a slut and stupid and an ATTENTION-WHORE!! 

Roxie: My baby…oh my! _Swoons_

Amos: Hey I'm the daddy! Dada, me, yes!

Roxie: Hey, I never said that!

Amos: What?!

Roxie: Buh-bye

Amos: No one notices me. Damn cellophane!

Velma: Ok, so if I wear my garter, and pretend to faint like this, and flash my thigh…

Billy: Yeah yeah, whatevs.

Velma: I'm still HERE!

Billy: Yeah yeah yeah.

Velma: REAL yeah yeah yeah or "I'll do whatever the hell I want" yeah yeah yeah?

Billy: Yeah yeah yeah.

Velma: UGH!

Billy: Hey, kid?

Roxie: Yeah?

Billy: Give 'em hell. And razzle dazzle them!

Roxie: _looking at reflection _k…

Billy: Oh yeah, flash your thigh, wear this garter, and pretend to faint during your trial.

Roxie: Cool, where'd you get that from?

Billy: Oh, around…

Velma: _to Mama _THAT WAS MY IDEA! UGHHHH!!

Mama: Darlin', it's okay.

Velma: She stole my goddamn garter!

Mama: What happened to class, anyway?

Velma: Sure as hell isn't here anymore…

Judge: Roxie, you are free to go.

Roxie: Squee! Yay!

Reporters: Ooh, a new crime!

Roxie: Hey, what, don't you guys wanna picture of me!?

Amos: Roxie…

Roxie: Why didn't they want a picture of me?!?!

Billy: You're yesterday's news. That's showbiz. Welcome to Chicago, honey.

Roxie: Ah, shit. Nowadays I'm a thing of the past…

Velma: Wanna join the sister act?

Roxie: Oh, what the hell? Sure.

Velma and Roxie: And all…that…JAAAAAAAAAAAZZ!!

**OK, so that's the sucky Act 2 to a sucky story. Sorry, but I'm not "on" for this story at ALL. I just keep thinking about my friend. I can't focus much lately, and have been crying and scared and all. I'm better today, but I just had major writer's block for this story. Review and tell me what you think?**


End file.
